Mission Driven Monday 08/03/2026
Solutions for Life by Chantel Adams
EARLY DINNER
When our kids were little, we ate dinner at 4:30. Back then, it was rush, rush, rush. Any chance of sitting down together as a family meant we had to eat early. The kids grew up, but the habit stuck. I still prefer an early dinner, and call me crazy, but I enjoy going to bed a little hungry.
Turns out, early dinners are good for you.
Besides the obvious advantages like heading off reflux and helping your heartrate to slow while you sleep, research shows that those who refrain from eating for four hours before bed do better in problem-solving tests.
Say what you will about old people and their 4:30 dinner reservations. The boomers are onto something.
The truth is when I eat too close to bedtime, my sleep score tanks—at least according to my Oura watch.
Last week, I had dinner with friends, and as the clock hands inched toward 7:45, I finally spoke up: “Are we going to eat or what?”
Next morning, I awoke to a sleep score that mocked me at a dismal 67, and the message on my Oura ring flashed: “Did you eat too close to bedtime?”
Yes, yes I did.
No alcohol.
No late-night exercise.
No doom scrolling.
Just a too-late dinner too close to bedtime.
PEOPLE PLEASING NO MORE
The tweet above is funny because it’s true.
Who doesn’t love a people pleaser?
You can count on them for anything at any time.
They will literally do anything for you.
They often sacrifice their own self-respect and self-care in service to other people.
All of these things sound good, but one problem with people pleasers is that they’re so hard to read.
Are they over-the-moon about helping out with your project?
Or are they over it?
No one knows.
I work in nonprofit, so I often find myself on both sides of the give/take equation—I ask for a lot of help, and also I get asked for a lot of help. And I’ll tell you this—it’s fun to say yes! Let me rephrase that. It’s fun to say yes when projects, timing, and interests align.
What I don’t love is a person whose heart is elsewhere, whose life is over-scheduled, and who resents the ask because they don’t know how to say no.
The momentary disappointment will fade, and your simple “no” means I get to ask someone who will be genuinely excited to work alongside me.
Need help managing your people-pleasing tendencies? Read this.
THE CASE FOR A MICROCATION
I’m writing this newsletter on the plane from Boston to Atlanta. Gavin has a client there, and I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to tag along. Plus, it’s been two months since we returned from our annual summer trip to Hilton Head, and I was beginning to feel a little antsy.
Microcations—or mini vacations— are nothing but a fast, meaningful reset away from the stressors of everyday life.
One of the keys to staying young and slowing down time is always having something to look forward to, and a planned mini-vacay is just the ticket. Squeezing in a few days is easier than planning the logistics of a full trip. It’s cheaper, too. Keep in mind you do have to be more intentional. One bad day or even a few bad hours can quickly derail the best-laid plans.
Monday started out rainy. While the bad weather was disappointing at first, we ended up rolling with it. Gavin and I enjoyed catching up on work at a cool coffee shop in the city, and I even had time to get a quick manicure. As soon as the rain cleared, we hit the pavement and were able to see the statue of Paul Revere in the Prado, visit one of the oldest candy shoppes in the country, eat authentic Italian in the North End, enjoy an after-dinner cappuccino at Caffe Vittoria, purchase pastries at the iconic Mike’s Pastry Shop, and watch the sunset at the wharf.
The rain was all but forgotten, and we packed a full day into a sunny afternoon and evening.
The microcation did its work. I’m refueled. Recharged. Renewed. And ready for anything.
At least for another two months. One more interesting note: A UCLA professor found that when we treat our weekends like mini vacations, we tend to enjoy them more. If you’re tempted to tackle a big house project, pretend you’re going on vacation instead. You’re not wasting time—you’re on island time.
LIFE AT THE ZENITH
It’s hard to believe there was a time in my life when 30 seemed ancient. This year, I’m 52, and when I say the number out loud, I giggle a little because 52 is ancient.
And guess what?
Research shows that life satisfaction peaks at exactly this age.
I’m not surprised:
By 52, most of you will have built your family; they’re either grown or mostly grown and maybe even flown the coop by now.
You may have grandkids. (I do, and I love it!)
Your career path is clearer than ever before. Experience and wisdom balance curiosity and ambition.
As family responsibilities wind down and the craziness of having multiple kids at home subsides, you may find yourself falling in love with your spouse all over again.
You have more time to pursue dormant interests and hobbies.
And now, with enough years to know yourself well, but not so many that you no longer recognize the person in the mirror, you can move through the world with confidence and grace.
Breakdown of Self, By the Decade:
20s—The Decade of Self-discovery (We wonder, “Who am I and why am I here?”)
30s—The Decade of Self-denial (We prioritize kids and work before everything else.)
40s—The Decade of Self-mastery (We ask, “What do I want to be the best in the world at?”)
50s—The Decade of Self-acceptance (This is life, and I like it.)
I wrote these down and then realized that our lives seldom fall into such neat buckets. Self-discovery, self-denial, and self-mastery overlap and fight with each other across decades. The unique responsibilities of each season spur our many selves into jostling for our undivided attention. At this very moment, I have friends my exact same age in the midst of career change, even as their kids and aging parents compete for limited resources of time and finances.
If 52 has taught me anything, it’s that I can manage more than I ever thought possible. Not just me, my friends too. What’s their secret? Grace and gratitude for every age and every stage. There’s a quiet acceptance that arrives on the other side of life experience. For those of you not yet there, may this be an encouragement to you. Our lives are rich and complex. Don’t rush a single heartbreakingly beautiful moment.
THE HEROES AND THE VILLIANS
I was raised on Old Testament fire and brimstone—Jonah and the Whale, Noah and the Ark, Daniel and the Lion’s Den, Moses and the Ten Commandments. A good preacher can turn one story into a hundred sermons. I love going to church and hearing one of these stories with a fresh handle or a new angle.
The unknown author of Hebrews says, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” —Hebrews 4:12
I may not be smart enough to find new angles and handles in every passage I read, but here are three questions I’ve been using lately as I re-read the old favorites:
What do the characters in this story teach me about God?
How does the life of Jesus align with what I just read?
And now what?
When you’ve been raised on the Bible, it’s easy to overlook what’s been staring you in the face all along. Even if you’re not a Jesus-follower, you can look to these old stories and learn something about leadership, integrity, and obedience. But really, the through line of the entire Bible is Jesus—all those Old Testament stories make the case for his ultimate arrival.
On the way home from the airport last night, Gavin put the Tesla in “self-driving” mode. The car is pretty reliable, but this newfangled technology still gets confused sometimes. Atlanta interstates are in a constant state of (dis)repair, and an open exit one weekend might give way to an entirely closed lane the next. Twice during our trip Gavin had to grab the steering wheel to keep it from making a mistake.
And I got to thinking about how we make these micro-adjustments to stay on course all the time. Whether we’re driving a car, icing a cake, or rolling up a ball of string, the tiny tweaks make a big difference.
So of course it makes sense that we’d have to micro-adjust our lives, as well. My body simply doesn’t respond the way it used to. I wouldn’t have noticed, but when I sat down and really thought about it, I uncovered the small adjustments making the biggest impact in my life right now.
Here are a few I’ve made over the last year or so:
I rarely start my day with sugar, and I used to always start my day with sugar. As you may remember, one of my aphorisms of adulthood is “if it’s not chocolate, it’s not for breakfast.” (I redact this statement)
I drink a glass of water first thing in the morning. This doesn’t seem monumental, but I used to drink nothing—sometimes waiting until lunchtime to hydrate my body.
Sleep is non-negotiable. Multiple studies uphold sleep as the definitive health habit for longevity. Gavin is better at this than me, but I’m working toward an earlier bedtime. Despite my prolonged evening routine, I still get a solid eight hours every night.
Eating out has become an experience to be enjoyed. I will skip a meal before I eat out just for the sake of eating. Neither the calories nor the quality is usually worth it.
Consistent movement is more important than intensity. I don’t want to get hurt, so I’ve dialed down some of my more high-intensity workouts. These adjustments have allowed me to stay consistent and to focus on multiple training goals—flexibility, agility, and core stability.
I replaced all my plastic leftover containers with glass ones.
I sleep in a silk bonnet.
Tiny shifts. Big payoffs.
What micro-adjustments have you been making lately?
Chantel Adams once traded medical school for motherhood. She helps mission-driven women reconcile the choices they’ve made with the legacy they’ll leave.