Mission Driven Monday 06/23/2025
Solutions for Life by Chantel Adams
IT SHRINKS???
Brain Shrinkage and Aging
The human brain—an intricate web of interconnected neurons, an enigma, the divine masterpiece. In the first 1000 days of life, the brain proliferates at an alarming rate, reaching 90% of its total volume by age five. We celebrate birthday after birthday—double digits, becoming a teenager, being old enough to drive, to vote, to buy alcohol, to rent a car. All this time I spent waiting for my frontal lobe to develop and then BAM—that gray matter told some of its buddies to get lost. Our brains betray us by losing volume in our late 20s, shrinking about 5% per decade after 40.
Memory, coordination, and processing speed decline as neurons die and connections weaken. (Wait, WHAT?!?!)
Scary? Heck, yeah! Of all the things I’d be happy to see shrink, my brain is not one of them.
Harvard researchers, whose brains function as literal moneymakers, developed something called SHIELD, a fun acronym for a complicated process called neurogenesis (a big word that means “growing new brain cells”.) The good news is you don’t even have to go back to school reap the benefits.
I’m encouraged because we are never too old to step into a future that’s even better than our past. Who cares how big your brain is? Maybe evolution favors the shedding of all the superfluous cells that weren’t serving us anyway. Just read this article or this one or this one.
S: Sleep 7-8 hours every night.
H: Handle stress.
I: Interact with friends and family.
E: Exercise.
L: Learn new things.
D: Diet. (A healthy gut microbiome is important because the gut and the brain communicate.)
Since the brain controls my whole body (something I’m both physically and emotionally attached to), I’m committed to keeping it in tip-top shape. This old lady is about to learn some new skills.
In which of the S.H.I.E.L.D. areas do you need the most help?
MAYBE IT’S OKAY TO GO TO BED ANGRY (AS LONG AS YOU DO THIS FIRST)
When my kids were little, we used to read this sweet little bedtime story called Spoon. It’s the best kind of children’s book because the story hints at both our childhood insecurities and our grownup wishes.
“Spoon liked to hear the story of his adventurous great-grandmother who fell in love with a dish and ran off to a distant land.”
Little Spoon laments the fact that Knife gets to cut and spread, and everybody loves Fork. The world thinks Chopsticks are cool and exotic.
I won’t spoil the whole plot, but suffice it to say that our friend Spoon discovers his true value.
The end of the book carries the best line of all.
Spoon says to his mom, “I can’t sleep,” and she replies, “Come snuggle, Come, spoon.”
And so he does.
(**Heart melting over here**)
If the Internet has taught us anything, it’s that morning and nighttime routines can be complicated. The number of steps we *should* be doing to wind down our evening is out of control. But if the goal of a good nighttime routine is lower stress and better sleep, the remedy might be as simple as a nighttime snuggle. (Just ask Spoon.)
While the research outlined in this article focuses specifically on the snuggles we share with our romantic partners, I have to imagine snuggling with our kids and pets carries similar emotional benefits.
So forget about the yoga, skincare, rituals, journaling, and meditation. Just brush your teeth and wash your face and spend a few minutes cuddling.
And hey, if you’re not into spooning, here’s a handy graphic outlining 21 other sleeping positions guaranteed to maximize cuddles for all you snuggle-bugs out there.
OH LENOX MALL, HOW I LOVE THEE
A few weeks ago I ordered some pants online that I wanted to take with me on vacation. I should have ordered a smaller size, but since I didn’t have time to send the return through the mail and get the replacement in time for my departure date, I made a trip to the mall—my favorite mall—and one I haven’t set foot in in over a decade. It was there I first tried on my wedding gown, there that I bought a suede wrap dress I still own (nearly 30 years later), as well as everything I needed to outfit my firstborn’s nursery. My first job at Chick-fil-A was in a shopping mall, my first date, too. Stepping foot in the mall was like stepping back in time. I strolled through my favorite store, touched everything, tried on a skirt I liked, and walked out with…nothing.
Why is it so easy to spend money online and so hard to part with your cold, hard cash in person?
By all accounts, spending money online shouldn’t be easier. Online, I can’t touch, smell or see the quality of the items I want to buy. There’s no such thing as instant gratification. I have to wait (two whole days!) for my purchases to be shipped to me. No one is there to tell me I look beautiful in that dress. Then again, no one is there to tell me I don’t. Pressing “buy” leaves me at the mercy of my internet connection.
And yet if I did a straw poll, you’d probably all say you prefer the online experience to the in-person one.
Ironically, the very first purchase I ever made on Amazon was a book called Why We Buy: The Science of Shopping. I’m not sure you could have convinced 1999 Chantel that one day she'd not only be buying all her books on Amazon, but everything else too.
Paco Underhill, the book’s author, predicted that “online shopping would never overtake retail.” Boy, did he get it wrong! On Amazon, in addition to books, you can now purchase more than 353 million products!
Turns out, there’s a reason for this. The psychology of online buyer behavior affirms that brands are no longer selling products at all; they’re selling feelings. When you purchase an item online, you’re buying confidence, belonging, and success.
Ironic, isn’t it? Because confidence, belonging, and success can’t be bought at all. You have to earn them.
WE ALL NEED AN EASY BUTTON
Life is complicated enough.
The average American adult makes about 35,000 decisions in a single day, and kids make more than 3,000 (Source).
Endless choices bring endless possibility.
That’s a good thing, right?
Well, not always.
Choices not only provide us with endless possibility, they also endow us with real responsibility.
That’s why I need some decisions to be easy. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I have a Go-To outfit I can always wear, a Go-To dinner I can always make, and Go-To Gift I’m always ready to give.
Some things just need to be EASY, don’t you agree?
Outfit—Jeans, tank or blouse, and a blazer.
I always feel put together when I wear this. I can dress down with sneakers and a tank or dress up with a structured button-down and heels or strappy sandals. (Best part about this outfit formula is that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to look put together. The individual pieces can be purchased at every price point.)
Dinner—Roast chicken, Potatoes, salad, loaf of crusty bread (Costco’s frozen French baguettes are the best)
Mastering one fantastic recipe makes meal planning easy. When I roast a chicken, I’m really preparing at least three other meals. For this dinner, I let the potatoes get crispy in the oven and toss with olive oil, lemon, and herbs. Salad is a no-brainer. (Sprouts has a yummy chopped citrus crunch salad—our fave!) I use the leftover chicken to make soup or chicken enchiladas later in the week. It’s the meal that keeps on giving. (You can put the soup and the enchiladas in the freezer, and then you have something to pull out on really crazy days.)
Gift—A go-to gift for me is something homemade (like granola) or something shelf-stable (like local honey) because you can always attach a note that says something like, “A little treat to fuel your adventures!” or “Your friendship is the sweetest!.” Wrap these gifts in a pretty towel with a big bow, and I promise it will feel special.
Please share your EASY BUTTON ideas. I’d love to hear them (or steal them!—ha ha!)
HOW PRAYER WORKS (I WISH I KNEW)
One of my biggest pet peeves growing up in church was something called “Popcorn Prayer.” If you didn’t grow up in church, let me explain: a popcorn prayer works like this. Everybody stands or sits, wherever they are, closes their eyes, and one person begins praying,. When that person finishes, anybody can pipe up with a prayer of their own. You’re supposed to just let the Holy Spirit prompt you. I hated it. Still do. The problem is that I never know if the Holy Spirit is talking to me or if that weird feeling in my stomach is just nerves. I’m afraid I’ll start praying at the exact same time as someone else. And besides, does God really need all of us to pray out loud? He knows what’s in our hearts. Couldn’t one guy just be the spokesman for our entire group?
I’m not against praying aloud. I just need to know what the expectations were.
Let’s pray like normal people, standing in a circle and holding hands. (I’m being a little facetious because this method of praying can be awkward too.) Here’s how it works: one guy begins talking to God, then squeezes the hand next to him when he’s finished. If that person wants to pray, he/she can. If not, they simply squeeze the next person’s hand. On and on the prayer travels around the circle until the last guy wraps the whole thing up for everybody with a big “Amen” at the end.
With popcorn prayer, how do you even know when the prayer is OVER?
Obviously, I’ve never been great at the whole prayer thing.
But recently I came across an old journal, and in it, I had written out my own feeble prayers. I had also listed the requests friends had shared with me. Week after week, praises and petitions. And it wasn’t complicated. God answered them all. He answered the prayers I wrote down in my book, and he even answered some prayers I didn’t.
When my first daughter was born, I never thought I would forget her first tooth, first steps, first words. Turns out, I did. A wise mom told me to write it all down. I thought I would remember all her special milestones because at the time they seemed so important. Guess what? I don’t remember anything. Thank goodness, I took the older mom’s advice and wrote everything in her baby book.
I mentioned back in January that my Word of the Year was LISTEN. Listening is great and all, but it’s nothing without introspection. And so today, I’m committing myself to writing down what I’ve been hearing. I think I won’t forget, but the truth is I hardly ever remember what I don’t record. (Is my brain shrinking? See “Health” tab above.)
Recommended Reading: Three Essential Prayers: Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne Lamott
MY FRIENDS by Fredrik Backman
My friend, Erin, recommended this book to me, and I’m not sure I’ve ever highlighted more passages in a work of fiction than I did in this book.
In fact, I’m glad no one was home as I read because tears streamed down my face for the first 60 pages and then for the entirety of the last half. If ever there was a book written about the crushing and heartbreaking beauty of being alive, then this is it.
Summarized here in one sentence:
“Art is what we leave of ourselves in other people.”